Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Friendly's wants to make you fat...or possibly kill you.

I walk past Friendly's everyday on my way to pick up my daily coffee.  And I am consistently amazed by the posters that they have in the window showcasing unbelievable and unmanageably large sandwiches.  I can only imagine that they are tasty, but I could never bring myself to eat one.

Here is a sampling for you: 

Soft Pretzel Bacon Burger
I love a soft pretzel (not as much as my boo does, but I come in close second), but this seems excessive.  Have one or the other, you know?
Grilled Cheeseburger Melt

Now, let's talk about this beast.  This is not one, not two, but THREE sandwiches in one.  Two grilled cheeses and a burger.  For all things gluttonous and greasy, share this with a family of four but don't eat it all by yourself!  This should come with a side of embalming fluids because if you eat if, you are going to DIE.  

Maybe you aren't convinced that Friendly's wants to make you fat, so let's take a peek at their breakfast menu.

Apple Caramel Walnut Pancakes

It's not enough to have pancakes slathered in butter, caramel and syrup so it is imperative that you have a huge scoop of vanilla ice cream to top it off.

Caramel Cinnamon Swirl French Toast
The description right off of the Friendly's website: 
"A cinnamon roll split in half and prepared like French toast. Served with sweetened Philadelphia® whipped cream cheese, warm caramel topping, our new Maple Syrup ice cream, and whipped topping."
Yep, cream cheese, caramel and, you guessed it, ICE CREAM.  I get it.  You are an ice cream parlor, but save it for dessert.

This leads me to the coup de grâce of the Friendly's menu:
Giant Crowd Pleaser

This is only 12 scoops of ice cream with your choice of 6 toppings.   I know they mean to have you share it with at least one other person, but why not go for the gold?  Dig in, fatties.  

Ok, ok, I'm not some crazy hippie that is going to tell you to eat only organic, home grown veggies washed down with wheatgrass juice, but just take care of yourself people.  Eat pancakes with syrup and blueberries, but hold the caramel and ice cream.  Moderation, kiddies.  For realz.

(All pictures courtesy of Friendly's informative website)


Joel said...

When you first told me about the burger served on a bun fashioned out of soft pretzels, I thought it sounded disgusting. But now, having seen that photo, I must admit that I could probably be convinced to eat one with minimal encouragement. After all, you're talking to a guy who willingly ate one of those KFC Double Down "sandwiches."

aquaboy said...

Wanting to kill your customers doesn't seem very "Friendly".

Nicole R. said...

I like ice cream, but that 12-scoop sundae has some pretty dubious colors. What's that mauve color? Nothing natural, I'll bet. Thanks for a revolting post. :)