Friday, November 9, 2007

Martha Stewart would not approve

I am not a cook by any stretch of the imagination. Heating up the oven and flipping my chik pattie after 8 minutes is about the extent of my culinary talents, but somehow, even this, is too lazy for me.

First of all, I can't bring myself to eat anything with "blast" in the name. It makes me think of unpleasant moments post-dining that really aren't very appetizing. Not to mention, I'm not a fan of canned foods that come equipped with a spray nozzle. Like Easy Cheese, for instance. Yuck. This must be advertised at 3 in the morning, when people with sleep deprivation are really hungry and not thinking rationally. Who else would buy it? And it seems weird to me that it is organic. Why bother, you know? It's pancakes in a can, for Pete's sake! This is such a strange concept and kind of repulsive, although I will admit that I'm getting quite a hankering for pancakes...made from scratch, thank you very much.

If you want to try them click here: Batter Blaster and make sure to watch the's "amazing".


Adam J. said...

You know what else "blast" makes me think of when it's coming out of the tip of of a cylinder shaped object?

Silly perv.

Pixie said...

M. will confirm how much I love pancakes, and ask for them 3x a day and how Bisquick Shake n' Pour has revolutionized our lives. But this is f*cking pancake blasphemy, right here. I imagine this is what Britney Spears feeds her kids, out of an ashtray, while driving.

Anonymous said...

Ok, maybe because it's nearly 1am on Monday and I haven't slept since Friday, but when I see this product I see pure American AWESOMENESS!

And maybe you're right. Maybe any kind of food that comes out of a spray can insults whatever primitive hunter/gatherer instincts we have left, but that doesn't mean it's not AWESOMELY AMERICAN!

In fact, as much as anyone dismisses this product I bet, no no I DOUBLE BET, that any of you, under the right conditions (say arriving home drunk at 3am after a 5-bar bender) would submit your body to a whole host of spray can foods if they were within arms length.

This is not something to be embarrassed about. In previous generations when people would arrive home far too drunk for their own good they would either beat their loved ones, or, worse yet, do inappropriate things to their livestock. In comparison, eating some USDA Organic pancakes from a pressurized can sounds fairly tame.

So I guess you can all keep putting down this AMAZINGLY AMERICAN PRODUCT, but I for one will salute the pancakes in a can.

God Bless America!

- Brad

Leah said...

omg....did I know you had a blog?! this is awesome! love it. And the batter blaster is creepy! :-)

Martha would definitely not approve! Haha.